Thursday, February 9, 2012

If Called by a Panther, Don't Anther

I cannot remember the BON Era - Before Ogden Nash.  His short poems have always made me laugh.  My first complete sentence as an infant was The Lord in His wisdom made the fly, And then forgot to tell us why.

I continue to amuse myself by quoting Mr. Nash to family and friends whenever I feel like it.  These supposed friends and family seem to often confuse amuse and annoy.

Don't you agree that most social occasions warrant an occasional non sequitor?

Candy is dandy, But liquor is quicker.

Have you noticed how tiresome and boring solemn occasions eventually become?  Like church, business meetings and funerals?  Just scribble a Nash one-liner on a deposit slip and pass it down.  People will appreciate the fact that you are trying to help them stay awake.  They'll thank you for it as soon as they get the chance.  Just nod and smile.

The cow is of bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.

Like Dr. Seuss, who lived during the same era, Ogden Nash was a spelling outlaw.  He misspelled words all over the place to make them rhyme.  It was gutsy and nutsy.  I love him for it.

The panther is like a leopard,
Except it hasn't been peppered.
Should you behold a panther crouch,
Prepare to say Ouch.
Better yet, if called by a panther,
Don't anther.
Don't anther if this guy calls you.  Please.  Think of the children.

The song of canaries
Never varies,
And when they’re moulting
They’re pretty revolting.

And finally, one of my new favorite Nashes ...

Since you now hunger for more Ogden Nash, fill your plate at this buffet table:

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