Sunday, May 13, 2012

Everyone Has a Mom to Thank


I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her. ~ Ellen DeGeneres


Men are what their mothers made them. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

If  you ever become a mother, can I have one of the puppies? ~ Charles Pierce

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. ~ Aristotle


Tell her you love her, even if you don't. 

You won't always have the chance.








Thursday, May 3, 2012

Let's See More Cowgirls, Hollywood

Our concepts of women in the frontier west have been shaped by movies and television. Women are portrayed as either helpless, long-skirted domestic drudges ...


or as buxom, sleazy, saloon strumpets. 

So where are the cowgirls, Hollywood?

In the real frontier west, ranch women performed all the same cowboy work that the men did.

Women went along on cattle drives and some, like Lizzie Johnson, The Queen of the Trail Drivers, were trail bosses. 

Legendary cowgirl and horse dealer, Kittie Wilkins, is said to have brought 3000 wild mustangs from Idaho to Missouri.


This is where we get the expressions … you're driving me crazy and you've driven me to my wits end.






Thursday, April 26, 2012

Why Do I Have A Face?

The previous post about dolls with no faces ended like this................

Besides, if you have ever made a doll, you know hard it is to make a decent looking face.

I will now provide the evidence that sometimes it is much better to not have a face.






I rest my case.






Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Where's my Face?

Why don't Amish dolls have faces?
The most popular legend is that Amish dolls are faceless because somewhere in the Bible it prohibits making graven images.  This makes no sense.  Once you have graven an entire body, how relevant is a face?

Another legend features the little Amish girl who had been given a doll by her "English" teacher.  When her father saw the doll, he replaced the pretty head with an old stuffed sock, saying that "only God can make people."  Huh?  Just because you have a sock head doesn't mean you're not people.
The Amish are not alone.  Native American tradition creates faceless corn husk dolls.  The Oneida Nation believes if a doll has a face, the child will identify too much with it.  A pretty face can cause the girl to become conceited and prideful.  According to Iroquois tradition, a corn husk doll sent to play with children became conceited after seeing her reflection.  As punishment, an eagle stole her reflection and her features.

Let's add some reality to the mix.
Dolls were created in some early Amish homes by wrapping pieces of wood in cloth and were played with by both boys and girls.  It is possible that the faceless dolls simply evolved from these crude dolls.

Non-Amish American pioneers were making dolls at about the same time.  The dolls were made of corn husks, old scraps of clothing, wooden spoons and clothespins wrapped in cloth.  These makeshift dolls were also faceless. 

If you are working from before dawn until after dark to create a home and family in the wilderness, a doll is a luxury, let alone one with a face. 

It's not like pioneer mom, Amish mom or Indian mom had a Sharpie or  thread to waste.  Besides, if you have ever made a doll, you know hard it is to make a decent looking face.








Monday, April 16, 2012

Does This Pony Tango?

In honor of his 21st birthday today, I would like to introduce my best horse boyfriend, Flash.

I'm on my way to a treat, a massage and my yoga. 
Life is good.  (I'm not kidding about the yoga.) 


Does this saddle make my butt look big?

I love long walks in the forest.


Sometimes even I have a bad hair day


I love the bitless bridle I got for my birthday. 
I do not like metal things in my mouth … do you?


Look at this!  Dumbass Duke knocked this perfectly good hay out of his stall
and I'm eating it all up.  Ha ha ha.  He's a moron. 
(Notice that I am not tied up ... I'm very good about not wandering off.)


I get baby carrots for my lunchable when we go trail riding. 
I love love love the cool sweet crunchiness.  Just like candy!
(Oh, so you never stuck out your tongue for a photo?)

A spa day for me is a nice mud bath.   It feels so good when I get my hour long brush massage to clean me up.  Then I go out and roll some more.


This sign is a joke, right?  Come on.  This isn't funny.

Could butt cheeks be any cuter?  I don't think so either.

Happy Trails!
Love,
Flash

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Easter Bunny Threatens Retirement

"I'm not sure I can keep this up much longer," the Easter Bunny said on the veranda of his palatial home in McGregorville.  "I'm worn out from delivering millions of eggs and I don't feel like people really appreciate my effort."

The EB said that people no longer have any sense of refinement and prefer eating things from paper containers with their hands.  He claims eggs in the shell should always be eaten from an egg cup. 


"The egg cup adds elegance and sophistication to the egg eating ritual. Eating with filthy human hands is disgusting.   If parents refuse to teach proper table manners, their children should be taken away and given to parents who will."

To eat a hard boiled egg from an egg cup, a small portion of the shell is lifted off like a lid and the egg is eaten with a small spoon.  The double egg cup has a large end for mixing a soft boiled egg with butter as well as a small end for eating hard boiled eggs. 


Asked if he will deliver eggs in 2013, Mr. Bunny said, "I am taking it under advisement.  Now please leave." 




Saturday, April 7, 2012

Is the Easter Bunny a Hairy Fairy?

A recently discovered antique porcelain Easter basket is believed to be one of several used by the actual Easter Bunny.  It is only 6.35 cm tall.


According to esteemed archeologist Dr. Eastroff Bunnington, “There is a strong tendency in our culture to super size everything, and it's not just our food and size of our waistlines. Children visit a six-foot tall Easter Bunny at the mall and mistakenly assume TEB is a giant.














I believe quite to the contrary. The Easter Bunny is most likely not over ten inches tall. My evidence indicates he is a distant genetic relative of The Fairy, Troll and Leprechaun. After a careful examination of the basket, I have concluded that he is is also probably Japanese.


Deal with it, America.”