I have a couple of faux
fur coats that people think are real when I wear them I have red pleather short shorts that … never
mind. Just kidding.
My recent faux vs. real experience
I will call the Marvelous Mittens Mystery.
I acquired a pair of
vintage fur and leather marvelous mittens lined with fleece. They were in great condition. There was no brand label, just a very worn
size label.
A couple of months later
I decided to list them in my TangoPony shop and began the listing. The title was 'Fur, Leather and Fleece-Lined
Mittens.'
I photographed the marvelous
mittens, edited the fifteen shots down to five, resized them and uploaded them
to my in-progress Etsy listing.
As I began to write the
description, it occurred to me that the lining might not be real fleece from a
sheep. It felt woolly, but something
wasn't quite right.
I discovered the fleece was
on a woven background. Thinking it still
could at least be wool, I pulled a few fuzzies off and took them to the Fire
Test Laboratory … one of my dad's old glass ashtrays from the 1940's and a box
of Rosebud stick matches.
The fleece flunked the
Fire Test.
Of course that made me
wonder about the leather. It really
looked real. It felt real. Even after an examination under magnification
I wasn't sure. I saw what could have
been pore marks.
This time I took the
Marvelous Mitten to the Smell Lab along with a couple pairs of kid gloves and
an old leather backpack.
The 'leather' on the
mittens flunked the Smell Test.
Of course I had to
subject the fur to testing and went back to the Fire Laboratory already
described in the fleece episode.
And of course the fur
flunked the Fire Test.
Now the mitten listing
reads, "Wookiee Paws, Mittens, Faux Fur, Faux Leather, Faux Fleece".
So what are these tests?
♣ The Fire Test for
Fibers: When lit, natural fibers smell like
burned hair or paper and turn to ash. Silk threads will actually glow like the
filament in a light bulb. Synthetic
fibers smell like chemicals and will melt and disappear when lit.
♣ The Smell Test for
Leather: Leather will always smell like
leather. Synthetic pleathers or vinyls
never will.
And that, boys and girls, is
the Science Lesson for today.
Since I am not familiar with
the test for wookieeness, I'll go out on a limb and say the mittens
are definitely Genuine Wookiee.